missing a life I've never had

Why do I feel like this. 

Like I'm getting out of my body staring at myself doing absolutely nothing.

Is it comfortable?

What is it that I miss. 

I don't know man.

I don't want to wake up tomorrow 

I don't want to do the same things every day.

I want to walk away . 

I want to smile only when I feel like it. 

I want to cry whenever wherever

I don't want to rush.

I don't want to try so hard.